RAINBOW OF LOVE, KNOWING LOVE HELPS
You
make me Love you.
The essence of Loving, be in Awe,
instead of being Awful.
See the Perfections in the world, instead of being an Imperfection.
LOVE ENHANCES ALL EMOTIONS
When love shows up in your life, you may notice that it
opens the floodgates to emotions you may have suppressed or forgotten to feel.
Suddenly, you become aware of the potential pain of loss, dependencies that
make you uncomfortable, a melting of defenses, a need to re-prioritize
everything in your life. You are more sensitive, more responsive, and yes,
emotionally naked. Fears from past failures or early traumas emerge, demanding your focus.
LOVE WAXES AND WANES
Love is not consistent or predictable. It can explode
and then disappear in moments, sometimes without warning or a predictable
future. It can be overwhelmingly present and then elusively quiet. Like a feral
animal, it may at once be demanding of nurturing and attentiveness and then run
into a place where you cannot find it. You must have faith in its desire to
remain part of your life and not chase it when it is quiet yet welcome it when
it returns.
LOVE IS SUSCEPTIBLE TO OUTSIDE
INFLUENCES
Love cannot be contained within a bubble. Every
experience, every person, every thought, every feeling, every demand, every
action that comes from the outside affects its ability to stay or leave.
Pressures from families, from religious teachings, from past or current loss,
from earlier successes or failures, all affect love’s ability to flourish or to
die. When challenges threaten its existence, it must be prioritized and
nurtured, or it will disappear.
LOVE IS STRESS RESPONSIVE
Stress overloads the emotional, intellectual, and physical
capacity of a person’s ability to cope. It steals all resources, forcing a
person to sharply focus on solving their demands. The joy of love that thrives
in a timeless space often cannot take a back seat for long to anxiety, fear, reactivity, or inability to be at peace. What may be a
predictable and easy response to the needs of another now fails under the
weight of other demands.
LOVE RESPONDS TO NOSTALGIA, DREAMS & ROMANCE
Even when times are hard and romantic partners feel too
far away from each other in the current moment, they can intentionally bring
back moments when they were close and remind each other of who they have been
at their best. This can be in the form of music, smells, memories, revisiting
meaningful places, or remembering a special book or poem they once shared. Love
can still exist from the past and keep its place in line until a better future
resume, but a couple must initiate those experiences and take the time to share
them when they are facing challenges.
LOVE IS HARD TO HEAL WHEN IT BREAKS
If love is not acknowledged, is thrown aside or not
honored, it dies. But most often, just a little bit at a time, it is struggling
to stay until it can no longer. When it diminishes, it is never easy to coax it
back into existence, no matter what is done. Beware of “too little, too late.”
So often people remember when love was crying out to ears and hearts that would
or could not listen. Like a fire that dies for lack of fuel, lost love has no
embers. Its existence is even more in jeopardy when it is then condemned
forever.
LOVE THRIVES ON HUMOR, ON JOY & HOPE
Love is not always meant to be serious or heavy. Even in
the hardest times, people can find happiness somewhere and renew their faith in a different
future. Things that are joyful, silly, and lighthearted exist around us even
when we cannot produce them easily ourselves. We can borrow from experiences
outside us that remind us that joy still exists and that we have not only known
it but will again. There may not be energy for the kind of laughter that heals, but there is always something going on
close by that can make us smile, even if just for a moment. Love will awaken at
the sight and sound of possibility, even if it must wait a while to be
experienced.
LOVE CREATES OXYTOCIN
When this chemical messenger floods the body, it produces
feelings of trust, bonding, love of touch, romantic attachment, stress-reduction, and it lessens emotional and physical
pain. It is a remarkable love potion. Yet, it can be diminished when not sought
after or nourished. So often, a couple in need of one another’s comfort during
hard times don’t realize that enhancing oxytocin can help them get through
difficulties. Stopping to just breathe in each other’s arms or gently massaging
each other’s bodies can re-stimulate the very chemical they need to get through
the distress.
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