DOMINATING OVER WOMAN, THE HOMEMAKER BEGETS SULKING
Both the scenarios of dominating first & sulking latter on, are unwanted, undesirable, & highly toxic, leaving the male counterpart SULKING, lonely, unhappy, indifferent & discontented. When one is sulking then the atmosphere is silent & resentful because of a wrong done to one who matters most in your life. Now both partners are brooding sullenly, no chance of any communication or patch up for days together. This is how life slips by you.
EVERY ONE NEEDS LOVE
Home makers need your whole hearted cooperation, knowingly & willingly. They are different, their primary role is that of a HOME MAKER. It is a full time job with no pay or remuneration. It comes with tremendous responsibility of procreation, bearing children & the associated pain, giving birth to them running the risk of loosing her own life in the process, & bringing them up amid-st poverty, joint family tensions & hundreds of other limitations. On top of all these 24/7 demands & unwritten expectations the men folk have their OWN PERSONAL agenda of sensual pleasure & quality time for togetherness. It is not going to happen because of the limited energy left behind at the end of the hectic day. The prime reason for this drained out state of hers is your NON - COOPERATION. She is EXPECTED to perform single handed with no out side help. Go figure it out for yourself.
This job description of our Homemaker is just the first page of the total TEN page booklet. The job description of a CEO of an International Giant corporation PALES against the above.
UNDERSTANDING THE UPBRINGING OF OUR HOMEMAKERS - THEIR PAST.
AT BIRTH INFANT IS AN INNOCENT PURE SOUL
AT THE MERCY OF IGNORANT CAREGIVERS
Now the complex dynamics happen as follows :
Dissatisfied Mothers transfer Neglect, delayed gratification of breast feeding.
Arrogant Step mothers convey Resentment.
Lonely Grandparents transmit gloominess, sadness.
LEADING TO ANXIETY, HATRED, SELF REJECTION, NUMBNESS, INSECURITY.
Sickly Uncles & Aunties exhibit Negativity.
Unfriendly neighbors teach Complaining, Arguing.
NORMAL INTERACTIONS TRIGGER THOUGHTS & FEELINGS OF
HYPER, CONFUSED, SCATTERED, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, LOW SELF ESTEEM
Irritating Guests / Visitors display Intruding, Rudeness, Seeking.
Dysfunctional Colleagues / Bosses Ingrain Rejection, Humiliation.
AT THE HANDS OF TOXIC CARETAKERS
The child's psyche & personality deflowers further :
Alcoholic Fathers permeate Fear, Oppression.
Dogmatic step fathers resort to Quarreling, Beating.
Skewed maids & servants inject Frustration.
EXPERIENCED AS NEGATIVITY OF
PUT DOWN, DEPRESSION, SULKING, SORROW, MASKING, SELF TALK.
Asexual Baby Sitters split sexuality, lewdness.
Egoistic Teachers impart Controlling
Lustful Coaches spoil true love by groping, forced intimacy.
MANIFESTING AS VISIBLE MANNERISMS OF
BODY-CONSCIOUSNESS, EGO, ANGER, VIOLENCE, GREED, LUST
Conceited friends down play by Bullying, Challenging.
Critical Cousins & Relatives confuse with Judging Comparing.
EVOLVING INTO SELF DEFEATING ACTIONS, VICES & ADDICTIONS
LEADING TO A DESTINY OF PAIN, MISERY &SELF DESTRUCTION.
HOW THE INTANGIBLES DESTROY THE TANGIBLE BODY
Self Limiting Beliefs are Irrational & permeate the Personality.
Suppressed Feelings of Fear translate to Holding up Tensions evolving as :Avoid Confrontation, Take Blame, Take Rejection personally.
Low Self respect manifests as Shame, Abused & used.
Self Destruction happens through Compulsions of Helplessness & Grief.
Low self worth is totally erroneous & forms an integral part of personality.
Depressed emotions of hate cause muscles to tense up leading to :
Indifference, Paralytic, Unworthy of Love, Blocking the flow, Shutting down.
Depression is the total drying up of Joy & replacing it with Bitter Taste & ugliness.
PLIGHT OF GIRL CHILD IN THIS MALE DOMINATED WORLD
The two main factors that help shape or destroy the girl child’s youth and future are: environment in which she is born and economic conditions she grows up with. Her environment could be the strict religion dominated, very backward Stone Age ritualistic, closed society of the iron curtain, or the chance of a life time of free democratic society. Her economic conditions have a major impact on her development and mental makeup. These too could be of extreme poverty, bare minimum to survive, average middle class tight situation, or the lucky affluent category.
Extreme Poverty case :
First we will deal with the economic situation of our girl child. When she is poor, there is little food to go around and her priority comes last. under nourished in body and poorly clothed body gives her an extremely low self-esteem for the rest of her life. This situation is further compounded by neglect and taken for granted attitude by the family members & elders. Schooling her is a costly affair by many standards. Firstly money must spend for her school supplies, uniforms, fees and transport. Secondly, her value as a child labor at home for the daily chores will have to be substituted by someone else or hired outside labor. All these factors go against her just because she is a girl who will get married and leave the family as soon as she grows up. Also money must be saved up for the dowry that must be given at the time of her marriage, because it is demanded as an ancient but defunct custom. From the very first day our girl child is considered as temporary outsider and not a permanent member of the family unit. This forms the basis of differential treatment in the family by most of the family members and her siblings. The result is tragic and catastrophic for the mother to be. Her own family abuses her to the very core of her being, which results in negative self-esteem. Now when she grows up into a beautiful but dumb valentine different class of problems takes root. Suddenly all the men and boys want to befriend her. She is in great demand which is very confusing for her little underdeveloped mind. She is not fully developed yet and ready for any kind of relationship. But the family has their own unfounded fears about her future. She could be raped by a relative and get pregnant without a reason and then her future is finished. She could also be enticed by a young boy into a one night affair and then too her life is finished. To avoid the above situations the family plans of her early marriage. Since she is not educated, ignorant and unskilled no one wants her as a prospective wife.
Soon the whole village is aware that this young woman is up for grabs. Now elderly unfit men who are fit to be her father, divorced, widowers, want her in marriage. They will marry her and abuse her to the fullest extent for sex and domestic help. Many times these men will use her for prostitution and as money making machine. Finally our girl child has ended up in a life of the reason being poverty/economic sacristy. When the life of forced prostitution is unbearable for her she ends her misery by committing suicide. End of her story.
Affluent child case :
Let us go through the very same process for our affluent girl child. It should be different. I doubt it. The parents give birth to a girl child in the best hospital, in the state of California. She is the apple of their eye and first born. A full time live in nanny is hired for our girl child. Food, clothes, toys and love is showered upon her 24/7. She is the fortunate one for now. Separate bedroom for her, special private grammar school to study in, and a chauffeured driven car for her transport is provided. Her self-esteem is going up steadily and surely. She indulges in expensive hobbies and far off vacations every now and then. This brings her into direct contact with some of the best boys who are equally fortunate and affluent on this planet. One day she too grows up into a beautiful and confident valentine. For her the opportunities are endless, yet she too is as vulnerable as her poor counterpart. She could be abducted by notorious gangsters for a ransom or for prostitution. She can be enticed by a smart boy into falling in love with him. His love is true or false is unknown at this time. This boy may want to groom her into a pornographic model. Finally the parents may decide to marry her off in an arranged marriage to a boy of their choice. Since our girl child is smart, intelligent, and pretty skillful, she asserts her own choice and succeeds in having her way. She wants to be an ice skater or a film star.
Therefore she gets admitted into an academy for training under expert coaches. The elderly coaches train her into the best skater or actress. But in the mean time they have fallen for her charm and youthful beauty. Her hormones are at their peak and she becomes a helpless prey for them. She too wants to explore sex but the final result is not good. A spiked drink at one of the parties gets her pregnant. Her wonderful career is finished. But since she is affluent she gets away by aborting the child and starting her life all over again. This time to get her broken life back together she is advised to get counseling from the religious elders at the church or the temple. Since she is still a youth the idea of mentoring by priests is acceptable & in order.
Here too she is now in the hands of sex starved priests and extremely vulnerable to be abused, groped, assaulted sexually under the pretext of emotional treatment/rehabilitation, by the socially respected high priests.
To conclude our girl child whether rich or poor is vulnerable at all times especially when she is in her pre-teens and teens. So be careful with your newly acquired freedom, innocent attitude, in the world of cunning cons, with ruthless intentions, and false appearances.
CONTINUING THE GROWTH OF OUR POTENTIAL HOMEMAKER - FAR FROM PERFECT
TELE-SPEAKING UNIQUE GIRL CHILD
The story of our little girl must be told in a unique style so as to make the maximum impact that we seek to deliver to the male dominated world. We have chosen to tell her entire story through the extraordinary powers of mind reading of this girl of any one she wishes to target, influence or communicate with at mental level regardless of the physical proximity.
THE SHAPING OF A PEBBLE
The name of our little special girl is Pebble. A sharp edged stone broken off by nature’s forces of expansion by heat and contraction by cold, plant growth, jack hammers or many times blasted by dynamite from its mother boulder, resting peacefully in the Rocky Mountains becomes a pebble finally, its sharp edges smooth grounded down. It travels a very tedious treacherous and lonely journey through the mountain sides, sharp water falls, crushing rapids, and force full pushes of the many rivulets finally ending up in the major rivers.
At the tender age of five years Pebble understood a great many things about her parents, and she knew instinctively that they didn’t comprehend the how part of it, and many times refused to believe in her intelligence. But some day they would have to believe it and she was ready to wait.
Pebble’s mother Polka
Pebble’s father Paddy
Thinking of, thinking about, just thinking hard.
MEET PEBBLES PARENTS
Polka was crying and so worried about her husband Paddy. Some of the things she was worried about were too grown up for Pebble to understand – vague things that had to do with security with Paddy’s self-image, feelings of guilt, anger, addiction to alcohol and the fear of what was to become of them. Pebble’s six year old friend Portia had told her that once her father had punched her mom right in the eye and knocked her down.
Finally these two parents had gotten a divorce over the bad abusive habit of husband’s drinking. Now her friend was living with her mother and saw her daddy only on week ends like an outsider, stranger guest.
FEAR OF DIVORCE OF PARENTS
The greatest terror of Pebble ‘s life was Divorce, a word that always appeared in her mind as a sign painted in red letters which were covered with hissing poisonous snakes. In divorce your parents no longer lived together. They had a tug of war over you in a court. Pebble was not sure which kind of court, badminton court?? Or Tennis court?? Since both her parents had played badminton and tennis in the near by club she assumed it could be either, and you had to go with only one of them and you practically never saw the other one. Also the one you were with could remarry somebody new you didn’t even know if the urge came on them. This event could start a whole new ball game of abuse and hatred with the step parent.
Pebble had the power to sense this constant undercurrent in her parents mind screen. These thoughts of divorce hung over the kitchen tables like a cloud full of black rain, pregnant, ready to burst. They weren’t talking to each other then but thinking oh yes. Pebble had simply to concentrate to understand the pattern of energy flowing in their minds and their thoughts would crystallize instantly. She would let her mind fly out to her Paddy and pick up the thought of suicide, not knowing what it meant.
In one of those flashes that sometimes came, she got a complete thought from an old lady, one that floated above the confused, low pitched babble of emotions and colors that she usually got in crowded places, like prenatal clinics.
So instead she squeezed in between her parents on the small sofa they were sharing and watched all the multitudes of pregnant woman waiting, worrying and wearing out.
PEBBLE IS AN AVID MIND READER - UNKNOWN TO HER PARENTS
Pebble giggled and then Polar their family friend, said something mentally, (sure you want to fly this plane) to her very clearly. Pebble heard the unsaid syntax word by word. Pebble looked at the stranger a little startled. Then Polar winked at her graciously and returned to the conversation with Polka. Polka looked from Polar’s broad serge-clad back to her daughter. She had the oddest feeling that something had passed between them, something she could not quite follow.
You got a knack miss Pebble, said Mr. Polar. Of course I do. I call it Telespeaking. That is what my grandmother called it. She had it. We used to sit in the kitchen when I was even younger and have long talks without even opening our mouths.
Polar requested of Pebble to relate what your mom and dad are thinking right now. Most times if I want to but usually I don’t try. “Why not?” Well… she paused a moment, troubled. It would be like peeking into their bedroom and watching while they are doing the thing that makes babies. It would be dirty. They wouldn’t like me peeking at their thinking screen. They want to make a baby sister for me because mom had a sister when she was young and she died hit by a delivery truck when she chased a ball into the street.
POLLY THE ANGEL GUIDE TO HER RESCUE
I do understand things but my vocabulary is limited now. People feel things and I feel them to a limit. I have an invisible playmate/angel guide. Her name is Polly. Sometimes when I try very hard to understand things, Polly comes to my rescue and shows me stuff which has not yet happened but will happen. She calls them nightmares. But scientists call it precognition. It all means seeing the future.
PEBBLE CAN SEE INTO FUTURE - PRECOGNITION
Pebble had told her mother that the TV guide was under the bed when she was hunting for it frantically all over the house for many hours. On another day she also thought it would be better to wear her rubber gum boots to nursery school even though the sun was out… and later that day they walked home under her umbrella through pouring rain. How Pebble could pre-guess both these events was very troubling to Polka. Many times Polka would decide to have an unusual evening cup of tea, go out in the kitchen and find her favorite cup out with a tea bag in it. Pebble would just arrange all this like a normal routine as if reading her mom’s mind ahead of her thinking. Polka would remember that books were due at the library and automatically find them all neatly piled up on the hall table, her library card on top. If Paddy would take into his head to wax the family Honda, and find himself shocked to find Pebble already out there, listening to her favorite music on her MP3 player as she sat on the curb to watch the waxing operation.
IGNORANT MEDICAL DOCTORS ARE BAFFLED BY PEBBLES MENTAL POWERS
The medical doctor, Porter who had examined Pebble was ready with his diagnosis about her precarious mental condition. She is in a pretty good position to develop a full-fledged psychosis. Unhappy home life, a big imagination, the invisible friend who was so real to her, and power to predict was taking a heavy toll on her health. Instead of growing out of her childhood schizophrenia, she was growing into it with a strong probability to end up as an autistic.
Paddy had been talking on the phone arguing about some controversial patient last night. Next day Pebble casually mentions this topic to her mother Polka who was alarmed to hear this news. The question framed on her lips was one she and Paddy had asked Pebble a hundred times: How did you know that? They were discussing her knowledge of things she had no way of knowing at all. But she did know it all, mom was convinced of that fact.
FORE SIGHT CAN BE A HANDICAP WITH AVERAGE IQ PARENTS
Pebble meets a host of international females at the world conference on Empowering Women, where her mother is one of the key note speakers on the crucial topic of Poverty. Women from Puerto Rico, Portugal, Panama, Portland, Punjab, Pakistan, Peru, Polska, Poland, & others interact with great interest. Pebble gathers such a vast & diverse spectrum of thoughts, intentions, that she herself is perplexed. She stores up all of this to analyse it at some latter date & time.
The devotion attached to the emotions is the root cause of all problems. Therefore we need to detach ourselves from emotional people and their emotional past happenings. With pebble around no one can have any sort of secrets. The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge first.
ON BEING A WOMAN FIRST - for man's understanding
DISTINCT MILESTONES IN GROWING UP
A woman goes through multiple stages of growing up. First as a giggling girl, maturing into an attractive woman, metamorphosing into a responsible mother, teacher, home maker, and finally a coaching granny. In all of these separate compartments she undergoes massive physical bodily changes which are brought about by the secretion of hundreds of chemicals & hormones inside her delicate body. These chemicals are responsible for all the chaotic emotions that invade her mind, splitting her personality into tiny fragments.
THE GIGGLING GIRL
The giggling girl has to come to terms with the monthly bleeding periods lasting into a week many times & endure the pain of her female anatomy. It is a big price to pay just to be a girl, of the opposite sex. She is smart enough to hide these painful days while she performs her daily chores and normal interactions with the outer world in school & in the neighborhood. Her dual life has just started. Inwardly uncomfortable but outwardly displaying ease & comfort. In her life time she will produce approximately 400 female eggs, available for fertilization. Ironically on an average she will use up one to four such eggs in her life span only. Nature always provides in abundance. But the poor woman has to bear the burden of disposing off the 396 unused eggs as painful periods. Humanity salutes all woman. The respect for her has just sky rocketed.
THE GARRULOUS GAZELLE
The emergence of a beautiful attractive enchanting cupid is totally a brand new & fascinating world for her & the neighborhood she grows up in. She is attracted to young boys because of the hormones being secreted in her body, but the fear of the consequences of pregnancy inhibit her advances. She is torn between these two opposing emotions. THE PLIGHT OF THE GIRL CHILD CONTINUES. All the art work and paintings of the world are dedicated to her female enticing, enchanting, irresistible being & anatomy . No movie film is complete without her. The perpetual love triangle never stops. All the beautiful & rich poetry penned down till today is on her, in her favor & about her. There would be no Kings & kingdoms without her. From Cleopatra to Helen of Troy & the Miss Universes/World of today, all are so important that they go down in history lane, famous, wanted, desired. They are above nations because nations have gone to wars over them. Again she is on a high pedestal, pretty uncomfortable inside but comfortably smiling outside for the public.
THE ROMANTIC BRIDE
The emergence of a responsible woman happens when she gets married to a stranger of her choice or her parents choice. The charm & fun of secret meetings, official dating, & love marriage is in the fortune of a selected few, who DARE. For the rest of them they have to be content with their chosen fate, good or bad. She is bargained by her caretakers for a price & sold to prospective buyers like a commodity in many poverty stricken parts of the world. In others parts the caretakers have to shell out large chunk of money as dowry to marry her off to a prospective husband to be. Here her passive life & living begins. These additional emotional strains become the heavy shackles that she must carry throughout her lifetime. She comes to believe that she is a burden on the parents / caretakers in either case. This very strong emotion of guilt is a huge negative, dragging factor in her up coming future life. What a cursing start does our woman get from this world, & yet we continue to have high expectations from her. This stage can come pretty early as 10 years, in child marriages, in many parts of the world or as late as 30 / 35 years. Generally for most of them it happens around 20 to 26 years. We are talking about the majority of women in India, China & third world poor countries. The rest of the world is a minority who do not believe in the bondage of marriage, because of the economic independence & education of both the partners.
THE PREGNANT WIFE
Our woman can become pregnant anytime, now that she is married and the culture she inherits is one of joint & large family oriented. The normal expectation is, first child in the very first year of marriage. The parents and grand parents are eagerly waiting for the good news of pregnancy. The metamorphosis begins when she finds out that the periods have stopped. The egg has fertilized with the male sperm. The flood of new motherly hormones begins pouring inside her body. The Oxytocin is responsible for motherly emotions emerging in her. Emotions of over whelming love for the new baby, fierce protection from all dangers, bonding, care, breast feeding satisfaction, positive feed back loops, contentment of snuggles and Coos, invisible connections, empathy to smell good. The Dopamine is responsible for another half dozen emotions of serious fears, anxiety, aggression, constant worry, prioritizing babies needs, & depression. It definitely brings in another serious aspect of being a responsible mother is her compulsive behavior of cleanliness, washing hands, hygiene, & obsessive checking for breathing of the baby. So many diverse emotions in one female package is a tall order. Her counter part, male species with a handful of emotions is a dwarf in front of her. The anticipation of baby's arrival is a special world by itself, which can not be shared by anyone else except herself. She is dividing herself into two separate parts & creating new life. This moment is Divine because her ever accommodating anatomy is housing TWO SOULS AT THE SAME TIME. She is very fortunate to have this unique experience in her inner mental privacy.
THE MOTHER TO BE
The fear of delivering, the excruciating pain involved is combined & intermingled with the pleasure & satisfaction of creation of a new life. The encouragement from all the members of the joint family keeps her going. The experienced mothers & grandmothers at home are busy preparing for the final day & boosting her morale every minute. The body is in major discomfort. The pelvic are has expanded, the stomach is stretched to its limits, the skin is cracking up & the weight of the baby is unbearable when standing up, hence she lies down to compensate the distribution of the weight in the lower area. The mother to be, is made to walk & do easy exercises of the limbs to help deliver the child normally. Extra care is given to her diet and all good things are included in it. She is kept amused & emotionally happy at all times despite all the discomfort going on inside her body. The focus is on delivering a healthy baby. The mother to be gets top priority in all matters at home. Most poverty stricken families are not so fortunate to afford all the comforts that are a must for the mother to be. Many such working mothers go to work up to the last day of delivery. Hats off to all of them.
A CHANGED WOMAN
Woman is hard wired for bringing up children and she must be aware of everything happening around her at all times. Please do not under estimate the LEVEL OF AWARENESS over flowing in her. This faculty is automatically extended to encompass her husband & all his actions, doings in life. What he is doing, why he is acting like this, how does he eat, what clothes is he wearing and the list goes on. Man beware of these scrutinizing roaming eyes. When you see her innocent face, you miss out the underlying signage - YOU ARE MONITORED BY HIDDEN HUMAN SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS AT ALL TIMES. This message is totally camouflaged by her enticing gestures & advances which hypnotize you in not deciphering it. Such an over sight gets you into trouble & tight corners. Then you wonder, where you went wrong & realize how dumb you are. Woman is always smarter than man, no doubt about it.
A SUCCESSFUL HOMEMAKER
She has successfully delivered three to four children and earned the certificate of a mature mother. Now she ventures into bringing them up as best as she can with all the help she can get from her husband & the extended joint family. This is a high energy consuming full time job, usually spilling into overtime up to midnight with no wages & very little appreciation to come with. Our woman is always tired & drained of energy by running after the children, catching them doing the unforgivable acts of mischief, many times rescuing them from life threatening dangers. The responsibility is truly gigantic but seemingly looks normal. Our woman has gone through hell to give birth to these innocent devils and lots of human investment is at stake if she were to loose one of them through over sight, carelessness, lethargy, or any other count. This is the main reason that she is always on her toes & at the brink of breaking down because of the constant anxiety, worry & watchfulness. This is our SUPER WOMAN.
A PARADIGM SHIFT
This hectic schedule of our changed woman is nowhere matching up with the initial romantic bride available for exploration. She is the woman in charge of the house hold and all romance is on hold too. Limited Sex & almost instantaneous child birth has deformed her body & ruined her life, if she has any left now. The sex appeal has gone so has the desire for any intimate contact. Now she seeks compassion instead of passion. The responsible mother has new set of priorities, yet she accommodates the persistent romantic overtures from her life partner to some extent against her bodily aversions for such physical contact. Again she is leading a dual emotional battle inside her tender mind, & her partner is totally unaware of such a predicament. This lack of sensitivity on part of the male, is a major factor in break ups, leading to broken homes. The Ego laden man of the house, her partner must understand this paradigm shift to the core. Growth, changing emotional needs & growing older is a natural phenomenon. The faster you accept it, better it becomes for everyone in the family, society & the nation.
LIBERATING MENOPAUSE
The young brats have grown up into tall handsome hulks or bewitching maidens & gone off to universities to study or work elsewhere in some far off cities. The once busy & overflowing nest is now empty. Soon they will choose their own partners or our woman & her husband will repeat the same mistakes of arranging their marriages with strangers who they think are a good match for their children. The mental battles continue on every situation that the world can throw at them. One last anatomical change in her body is still to come. It is the menopause, she has been waiting for. Finally the saga of bleeding periods comes to an end. This liberating exit is painful too like its beginning. It is a signal for her lustful husband to change his attitude towards her as a desirable object, MEN-O-PAUSE. Ironically now was the time to enjoy intimate sex without the fear of pregnancy, but there is no inclination for it now. The corresponding hormone of estrogen has dried up in her body. Rather at this stage she has developed aversion for any physical contact. This is bad news for the single track husband, who firmly believes that lust is love, thus denying our woman, her due share of love. This erroneous attitude causes our woman to withdraw & distance from her man, leaving him alone & lonely more and more, when both partners want exactly the opposite – more Love-full intimacy.
A GRACEFUL GRANNY
It is time to ripen up a notch further for our woman who has had a grueling life so far. She is evolving into a gentle graceful grandmother of her children's children. The numerous grand children will be nursed, assisted in their births, & latter on coached by her. Her worn-out body may be frail but her will power & determination is still strong as steel. She reminiscences her youthful days sitting in her rocking chair & is ever busy knitting woolen clothes for her favorite grand children or happily making jams, sauces & pickles for the extended family. Her male counter part is no match for her domestic enterprise. He remains a silent witness or at best an incognito helper.
Rohit Khanna - Soul Consciousness takes care of all other aspects.
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