INVISIBLE FORCES RETARD GROWING UP

 

INVISIBLE FORCES RETARD GROWING UP

Helpless at the Mercy of less civilized Parents

Had our childhood been different, we would have gradually come to master our own emotions, just like learning to walk or doing mathematics. But for most of us, it did not happen that way. Our parents’ negativity was their own burden to bear. They were raised by even less civilized parents and grandparents who relied heavily on spanking, whipping, yelling, verbal abuse, and physical punishment to teach them the difference between right and wrong. As a result, they lost the ability to separate genuine morality from fear and conditioning. They internalized those harsh methods and applied the exact same techniques to us. Left unchecked, we would likely do the exact same to our children, simply because we know nothing different or better.

Before Birth — Unwelcome

How do we grow up & what goes wrong?

It often begins with immature explorations. Teenagers get hooked on birth control and explore sex long before they are emotionally ready. Some drop out of school and take minimum-wage jobs just to continue their lifestyle, while their parents disown them for going astray. Then comes the mistake: a girl finds herself pregnant. She never planned the life growing inside her, yet she hesitates to terminate it. From the very start, the child within is unwelcome. The young, anxious mother transfers her repressed feelings, stress, and tension directly to the unborn child, who is already receptive to light, sound, maternal chemistry, and the subtle attitudes directed toward its existence.

After Birth — Burden

From troubled childhood conditioning to educated clarity.

Soon, the weight of responsibility sets in. The young mother struggles to tolerate the demands of the child, and the baby misses out on essential love from the very beginning. She cannot give the love the child so deeply needs because her own vessel is empty; she herself was denied love and remains unfulfilled. Guilt sets in, and she begins substituting love with food. The child is forced to eat even when not hungry. Things have gone grossly wrong once again. Today, children are frequently placed in daycare units or raised by stepparents and substitute caregivers offering artificial affection. Freedom is restricted, and gratification is constantly delayed. When a child cries for milk, it isn't given immediately, perhaps because the mother is on a public bus or in a shopping mall, feeling too embarrassed or ashamed to breastfeed in full view of the public. This delayed gratification creates early seeds of resentment, frustration, and repulsion. It is the fundamental starting point where development goes off track.

Infant — Fearless & Ecstatic

Every child is born in a state of natural ecstasy. Joy is the innermost core of every human being, an ecstasy of the heart, not of the analytical mind. Each newborn enters this world as a pure bundle of joy. Love is a necessity, yet the infant takes it for granted. The infant demands love instantly but has no real concept of how to return it. All needs and wishes are just one cry away, promptly met by the co-creators. The infant is delightfully self-absorbed, discovering their own toes, fingers, and pure state of being. They carry no fears, no doubts, and no fixed beliefs. Denial has not yet entered their world. If left entirely alone, however, a baby feels a sudden shock of fright and yells at the top of their lungs for attention—and notice, you will never hear a baby go hoarse from crying! Their voice is pure instinct.

Baby — Seasoned Blackmailer

At this stage, physical contact is paramount. The baby needs to be hugged, held, cuddled, and kissed, responding with soft coos and giggles. Very quickly, they master the subtle art of emotional blackmail, using good behavior to win favors. Smiles and obedience bring rewards. Love is freely given and received without question. The baby learns to sleep on schedule and wakes up in comfort, crying only in response to genuine fright or loneliness. Possessions begin to bring immense joy; the baby clutches a teddy bear or a security blanket, proudly claiming it as "mine." They delight in exploring the world through the five senses, symbolically tasting, touching, looking at, and listening to every single toy.

Crawling Child - Explorer

Separating Right from Wrong

New physical skills emerge rapidly. The child begins to crawl, toddle, and walk. This newfound independence is intoxicating, inspiring a deep urge to explore uncharted territories—only to be reprimanded and disciplined for stepping into unsuspected dangers. The child strings words together, rejoicing in the sounds they can create and hear. Talking is a game, and being the center of attention is pure joy. Gradually, they discard simple toys in pursuit of the "Forbidden Garden." Mental reasoning develops, allowing them to dream of things beyond their immediate reach. For many parents, saying "yes" feels difficult; even when granted, it is done so reluctantly that the child is made to feel guilty just for asking.

Toddler – Totally Dominated

The child wants to stay up a little longer to watch the stars.

"NO! Come inside and go to sleep."

In the morning, when they wish to linger in a dream:

"NO! Wake up, this is no time to sleep. Get ready and eat."

"But Mom, I'm not hungry!"

"NO! You must eat right now."

"Mom, can I go outside in the sun?"

"NO!" comes the obsessive response.

Domestication becomes a form of dictatorship, reducing the child to a reluctant subject. Is it any wonder that as soon as children grow up, they long to leave home just to experience freedom? Ignorant parents sow these seeds of control early on, only to repent later when the birds fly prematurely from the nest.

Childhood - Sexuality & Shame

It stems back to the very first sin: the fig leaf that caused it all. Society planted the most horrible emotion, shame, into our heads over nothing. We learn to reject our own bodies, reject our natural nakedness, and in doing so invite suffering, anxiety, and disease into our lives. To a young child, there is no moral distinction between a nose, a toe, or their sexual organs, they are simply parts of the body. Yet, the child is baffled when their hand is repeatedly slapped away whenever they touch themselves. This prohibition is reinforced week after week. Enjoying one's own body is strictly denied, driving home a single, toxic message: SHAME. Sex is taught as something inherently dirty and bad, leading children to view natural nudity as gross and to harbor self-loathing. Gender identity becomes strictly enforced through clothing, and we over-clothe both ourselves and our children. Consider two small children peeking into a nudist camp through a fence, they can hardly tell the men from the women because no one is wearing gendered clothes! How tragic that so many people cannot even view themselves naked in their own dreams because they harbor such deep fear of their physical forms. Later in adulthood, people are expected to perform naturally and lovingly in a marital relationship. But how can they, when the foundation was built on shame?

Tinkering kid – Creativity Snuffed out

When a child takes apart an old clock to see how it works, the reaction is immediate: "NO!"  The child’s innate curiosity is instantly snuffed out. An inquiring mind is sacrificed just to save an inexpensive timepiece. Thomas Alva Edison, one of history's greatest inventors, was fortunate to have an enlightened mother who allowed him to dismantle a clock, keeping his passion for discovery alive for a lifetime. "NO!" and "DON'T!" are two of the most destructive words in language when overused. Through them, the child absorbs a tragic lesson: that joyful exploration is wrong, and quiet conformity is right. We systematically extinguish the potential for an ecstatic, delight-filled life.

Lonely Child

Lacking the time or emotional capacity to offer genuine presence, many parents substitute love with pocket money and material gifts. The child quickly learns to measure worth through accumulation. Money and status become symbols of security, hoard so much in the bank! Yet paradoxically, the true value of money lies only in how it is spent and shared, not in how tightly it is hoarded.

Adolescent Pre-Teen - Confused

Adolescence is a delicate, uncomfortable bridge. The individual is no longer a child, yet not quite an adult, suspended in the middle. The desperate need for love returns, but growing apprehensions turn the adolescent secretive. Fearing the loss of parental protection while simultaneously longing to cross over into the adult world, they become uncertain of the future and suspicious of strangers. They observe adults keenly, involuntarily internalizing their habits and flaws. Growing up feels painful and isolating. As childhood friends drift away or move, the adolescent clings to memories of the past. To survive, they invent disguises: comical masks, artificial laughter, and a tough exterior to fool the world. On the inside, they remain fragile, sentimental, and easily moved to tears; on the outside, they construct thick walls to shield themselves from a harsh environment.

Teenager - Ego Building

Hijacked by Hormones

Now begins the steep climb to maturity. This is the era of long gazes into the mirror, experimenting with hairstyles, and becoming hyper-aware of "self-image." Hormonal surges awaken physical desire. Youth is fired up, but it brings intense self-doubt. Self-esteem and self-confidence formed during this period will largely dictate future success or failure. Social circles expand, giving rise to dates, romance, and intense infatuations. A personal sense of dignity and validation is sought through the opposite sex. When struck by Cupid's arrow for the first time, the teenager fully believes this "first love" is the ultimate, irreplaceable event of human history. They are wrong, of course, but the feeling is overwhelming! The heavy burdens of adult life have not yet settled in. The teenager is learning to navigate respect, patience, and self-control. Yet, hiding behind a veil of vanity, they seek constant reassurance through admiration and flattery, leaving them vulnerable to deep humiliation and rejection when brushed aside. To maintain a fragile illusion of superiority, some resort to bullying younger peers, a toxic behavior that, if left uncorrected, can harden into a lifelong personality trait.

Adult - Social Responsibility

Self-discovery is not about becoming someone new but stripping away everything you were taught to be.

Reality hits: life becomes serious business. The adult must now comply with hundreds of societal rules, strict schedules, and heavy expectations. Constant hard work and tight deadlines generate frustration and exhaustion. Many break down under the relentless pressure of routine: work, eat, compete, repeat. Caught in a rat race where survival becomes an obsession, there seems to be no time left to dream. Increased responsibilities arrive early, alongside the constant internal pressure to achieve more. Here, the true meaning of love is often distorted; instead of emotional surrender, it is mischanneled into workaholism. The adult moves on to marriage, another major arena of life, driven by the primal urge to find a companion to share life's burdens and joys. Potential mates are weighed on a scale of virtues and vices, often leading to emotional indecision. Unlike the reckless abandon of teenage crushes, adult partner selection involves painful choices. Yet, commitments are made, and the journey of joining two hearts and minds begins.

Cohabitation – Compatibility & Division of Love

To build a life together, the self-centered individual must expand their world to accommodate another. Partners fall in love yet often don't understand the forces at play. While sexually mature, many adults remain emotionally handicapped, fearful, and defensive due to the skewed conditioning of their upbringing. They may be highly capable at managing a career or running a household yet entirely lost when navigating the deeper mysteries of intimacy. The desire for sexual expression is natural and innate. When harnessed constructively through willpower and emotional clarity, this energy can transform mediocrity into brilliance. It acts as a safety valve to release pressure and keep the mind grounded, serving as a powerful therapeutic agent for emotional healing. Conversely, when mismanaged, reckless indulgence carries a heavy toll, broken relationships, bitter court battles, and crippling financial burdens like alimony and decades of child support that can easily exceed hundreds of thousands of dollars. Impulsive choices can derail a person's entire financial and emotional future.

Healing Suppressed Emotions

For decades, we carry suppressed pain, constructing emotional armor to distance ourselves from potential hurt. We view the world with skepticism and fear, hesitating to reveal our true selves. Then, genuine love enters our lives. Authentic love creates a safe space where long-buried wounds surface. As these old, painful feelings thaw out, a dangerous misunderstanding often occurs we mistake our past emotional baggage for our partner's criticism, blame, or rejection. Remember this truth: You are almost never upset for the reasons you think you are. Unresolved pain from childhood is almost always projected onto the present and future. To break this cycle, we must listen to our internal wounds with deep compassion and learn to parent ourselves. When old sadness arises, gently ask yourself: "Why are you feeling this way?" By accepting and understanding our unresolved childhood experiences, and sharing them honestly with a partner, miraculous healing takes place. To offer real love to others, we must first fill our own vessels with self-love, self-acceptance, and self-respect. Ironically, avoiding our negative emotions gives them total control over our destiny.

A Personal Perspective - What Went Right

While many experience these painful pitfalls, my own trajectory took a deeply fortunate path. Personally, I was raised with immense love, care, and sacrifice. My parents invested heavily in sending us to wonderful institutions, and that foundation paid lifelong dividends. We were blessed to grow up surrounded by an enlightened circle of relatives, cousins, and friends. As a result, my heart remains full, and I live in a state of genuine bliss. My view of marriage reflects this cosmic balance: I believe a higher wisdom pairs individuals together to support each other's hidden wounds. It is as if the universe whispers to the soul: "Here is a partner who carries emotional burdens; take care of them for a lifetime." Each of us faces unique internal challenges, and our primary purpose is to uplift one another. When we work against this principle, we disrupt the natural order and invite chaos into our lives. Attending convent school as a child instilled deep Moral Science lessons within me that left an indelible mark. They shaped my character, making me genuinely spiritual in action, far beyond mere words or lip service. Having received so much from life, it is now my duty and joy to give back to the world through shared knowledge and insight.

 

ROHIT KHANNA…  IN-VISIBLE

AUTHOR – MAGIC OF MIND & MIRACLE OF BODY

https://www.amazon.ca/MAGIC-MIND-MIRACLE-Rohit-Khanna-ebook/dp/B004RHX8JC

Autobiography of an Engineer from Tata Nagar 

By the Author - Click on the link below please.

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0GX3B8YQD