THE ART OF PEACEFUL LIVING - MARRIAGE BOX CONCEPT

CREATORS MARRIAGE BOX

IN-VERTED  PARADIGM

The long lost children have now been found & adopted by the Creator. He is the bridegroom who will be taking us into our new Home to IN-STALL us with Him. To begin with our first IN-NINGS the marriage box that we IN-HERIT  is empty, contrary to our IN-QUIRY & belief that we will find all the things we have longed for in marriage: IN-TIMACY, friendship, companionship, love, peace. 

IN-SERT  FIRST 

One must put in something before one can take out anything from the box. Love, Peace, Bliss are in the people / partners, not in the marriage or the stupid box. There is no romance in marriage box as yet. As an IN-FATUATED  couple we have to learn the art & form the habit of IN-COME first of giving, loving, looking at specialties, praising, serving, keeping the IN-FLOW into the box full before anyone partner can take out anything. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty soon or will remain empty. 

BENEVOLENT CREATOR

Creator is always first, in doing his part of the equation and keeps the marriage box overflowing with all the goodies. Now it is our turn to add into the box all that we have.  But what do we have is the big question to ourselves. 

JUNK IS ALL WE HAVE

On the long journey of 84 births spanning over an elapsed time of  5000 years, we have amassed lot of junk and piled it up over the valuable stuff that we had at the start of the beautiful journey. To dig out the valuable jewels we must throw out the piled up junk first into the IN-CINERATOR that has been positioned adjacent to the marriage box. Once the junk is IN-TOMB the incinerator you cannot retrieve it ever again in future. This was the hard part of the IN-BUILT bargain. 

DIG THE JEWELS OUT

Now that the jewels are accessible we must IN-DULGE & grab them, dust them off, and quickly put them into the marriage box to complete our part of the equation. The creator becomes very pleased at this herculean gesture of ours and so do we.

PRESCRIPTION - HAPPY RELATIONSHIP IN LIFE

RIGHT TO FREEDOM 

This is a very basic need  of all human beings. We have our BROUGHT FORWARD seeds / sanskars through which we all are acting all the time. Change is tough & time consuming. It requires a very SHARP IN-TELLECT to realize this aspect of acting. Our actions will continue to manifest impulsively, mostly out of unawareness which will never be palatable to the other partner / spouse. The reason being that we are all different, harboring almost opposite class of seeds / sanskars. Do not expect similar class of actions from your partner ever. Expectations are an excellent source of IRRITATION, & irritations cause IN-FLAMMATION inside. - Now you know.  

REFLEX ACTION  - CONTROLLING

The most obvious reaction to the repulsive behavior of the partner is to cut him off, negate him, disagree totally, & get into the impossible task of changing him, which adds up to CONTROLLING HIM,  24/7.
There you go, now you have a full time job, unpaid of course, frustrating absolutely because the results of the constant bullying never appear on the horizon.

CAN ONE EVER CONTROL THE WORLD

The answer is NO. You may like it or not. Lets come to your three year old toddler, can you control him ever. You have to keep a tab on him 24/7, run around the house behind him just in case he runs into dangerous situations which he will always. Can you control your teenage children. Again a big NO. They rebel, defy you, they leave the home to live separately on their own terms. Your ideas are outdated for them, so you keep them to yourselves. Now we come the main hero of the Drama of life, your spouse. Please remember that MEN ARE FROM MARS & WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.
You both are DIFFERENT, get this in your head. Each of us will behave differently & no one is wrong or right, good or bad, just different. But we do not like it, so what is the solution to this very pressing mind boggling predicament.

EASY WAY OUT - TOLERATE 

Yes you got it. We all have to learn to tolerate the other persons actions, behavior, mannerisms & intentions too. Have mercy for the poor soul & tolerate with a heavy heart. FORGIVE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. When you forgive the other person for offending you, in reality you are benefiting your self. If you continue to remain in HATE, then you are poisoning yourself only & no one else. Besides tolerating you have no other choice, so  understand this very well & come to terms internally, sooner the better for your own mental & physical health. 

COOPERATE WITH A SMILE

Life must go on & that too smoothly. Therefore get into the cooperation mode. Having taken MERCY on the poor soul & FORGIVEN him genuinely from inside, now is the time to SMILE IN-TERNALLY again for your own sake & COOPERATE whole heartedly for the common cause of the family, children & other relatives around in the home or far away.

KARMA IS THE REASON TO COOPERATE 

In the past life the male was a female & the female was a male. In this past life you SCREWED each other, now both of you have IN-CARNATED as a couple by DIVINE intervention, & not your own choosing to settle the BROUGHT FORWARD karmic account. Since it is your own DOING you better understand the COSMIC DRAMA in the right perspective & COOPERATE WILLINGLY the part of REVERSE SCREWING, with a smile. Just take it lying down happily & enjoy the ride.


THE PAINFUL PARTING WAY

Finally it all boils down to simple maths. We want to have our say & do our thing. We do not have the will to change ourselves for the better, while on the other hand  controlling others works in the opposite direction of antagonizing them. So the only choice we are left with is to TOLERATE & COOPERATE with a smile. When we fail to do even this much then the limits of PATIENCE are crossed & it makes good sense to go our own SEPARATE WAYS without any ILL FEELINGS, HATE FILLED IN-TENTIONS or EMOTIONS OF REVENGE.  Just part & live separately on your terms. Eventually both partners suffer a great deal on this account of holding up their EGOS, refusing to bend, let go & ACCOMMODATE the other into their lives. I feel sorry & sad for you guys. 

NETT OUT COME SORROW & MISERY  

Going separate ways means alienation from a cohesive group of friends & family. Sense of longing pervades both partners all the time, because it is not easy to obliterate the memories so quickly. Modified life style is down graded to a large extent because of financial crunch, single income now. Emotional drain is IN-VISIBLE but for sure a big one too. Energy wise both partners have to manage all the domestic chores single handed, which becomes a major set back on their leisure time. Eventually the path is laid out for LONELINESS FRUSTRATION DEPRESSION DOOMED & FUTILITY  - what is the use ATTITUDE. 
This can definitely lead to suicidal tendencies & attempts. - Go figure it for your self.      
  

A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE

People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business, they'll say "Ahh Oga Victor, go and marry so you'll stop washing".

They'll see a man cooking and be like "Bro John, you need to get married so you can stop cooking".

A mother will assist  her 35 years old son, who cannot wash his own boxers, boil water for tea or even make his own bed, a 35 years old that cannot take his plates to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James, you need to settle down, get a woman to take care of you". SERIOUSLY?? because she knows that she will be not there for him very soon.

In different ways, the society subconsciously tell men that they don't marry women for any reason, other than cleaning, cooking and childbearing. I begin to wonder, does the average man needs a wife or a glorified maid?

Many women look three times their age, all because of stress and exhaustion. You sit down in front of the TV with your phone and watch, while your wife works until she's about to pass out. REALLY??

Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates?

Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes?

Who told you that it is wrong to make your bed when you wake up?

What will it take, to help your partner with chores in the house?

If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet, pampered, fed and nursed, then, he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be picked up.

BUT If you want a wife, to love, to cherish, to do different things with her, assist in some chores, and love her for the rest of your life, then get married.

AND if you are getting married because you feel you're becoming too old to do your own chores then get a maid.

Women are to be cherished, pampered and loved, not USED.

Rohit Khanna - IN-SITU & IN-SNARE

ALL e-books by ROHIT KHANNA on Amazon.com - CLINK ON THE LINK BELOW

https://www.amazon.com/default/e/B004S80JYW?redirectedFromKindleDbs=true

WE CAN NOT FORCE A SAPLING TO GROW OUR WAY - children too

                              

   AS YOU SOW SO SHALL YOU REAP

This saying is very often quoted by most of us as a casual remark. The full depth of its meaning is being attempted now for your benefit.

THREE COMPONENTS OF YOU THE SOUL

You are the Chief Gardner as the Intellect functioning inside.

Everything depends upon the Timing & Availability of the Seeds/Sanskars sowed into the minds soil by the Intellectual Gardner.

The Quality & Quantity of the harvest in terms of Thoughts generated from the soil of your Mind inside is what you reap.

THE GATHERING OF THE SEEDS 

We will start with the seeds or Sanskars first because the final product / harvest depends upon them. Every child is born with a few pure Sanskars initially & then gradually as it grows up it acquires all the wrong impure Sanskars. These seeds are in large numbers compared to the few original ones. They additionally over power the pure seeds making them dormant & pushing them into oblivion. It amounts to you having gone on a series of YARDSALE shopping spree of antique Sanskars which other people do not want themselves & wish to off load them to any one.   

ORIGINAL SANSKARS / SEEDS

Peace Purity Power Knowledge Truth Love Bliss.

Shades of these additionally manifest as follows:

Appreciation  Affection  Care  Companionship  Cooperation  Inclusiveness  Equanimity  Acceptance  Cheerful  Humor  Smiles  Lightness  Joy  Sweetness  Courteous  Loyalty  Trustee  Guide  Clean  Simple  Transparent  Inspire  Synergy  Connect  Mindful  Tranquil  Serene  Solitude  Honest  Comfortable  Pleasant  Ecstasy  Grace  Wisdom  

ACQUIRED SANSKARS / SEEDS

Anger Impure Weak Ignorance Beliefs Lust Hate

Shades of these additionally manifest as follows :

Arrogance  Righteous  Passion  Ego  Judging  Deceit  Imposing  Trespasses  Violence  Doubt  Illusions  Dogmas  Alloyed  Powerless  Drained  Lonely  Depleted  Agitated  Greed  Adultery  

Desires  Attention  Wants   Sex   

 INTELLECT OF THE GARDENER

The second aspect of gardening is the mental health of the Gardener itself. The poor person could be stuck in the Devotional mode as a result the level & sharpness of Intellect is jeopardized to a large extent. This is an important point here. Just as the productivity of an Ax depends upon the maintenance of its sharpness the same parameter is valid for the Intellect too.

DIVINE INTELLECT  

Sharp  Open  Dense  Faith  Trust  Hope  Courage

Shades of these additionally manifest as follows:

Gratitude   Reverence   Benevolence   Influence   Radiance   Mercy  Humility    Tolerate    Magnetism    Surrender    Withdrawn    Churn 
Knowledge    Meditate    Discern     Decide     

DEVOTIONAL INTELLECT

Dull  Stone  Closed  Confused  Diffused  Blunt

Shades of these additionally manifest as follows:

Overthinking    Worry     Gossip     Inadequate    Unworthy    Fear    Skeptical    Unsure     Dependent     Egoist     Superiority  Complex     

SOIL OF THE MIND

The third aspect is the almighty Mind. This corresponds to the soil where the seeds are sown to germinate & grow when watered & nurtured with nutrients. How the Gardener handles the process of cultivation largely depends upon the quality of the Intellect. The final output has basically two out comes.

HARVEST OF POSITIVITY

Flood of Positive thoughts will flow when the original pure seeds are sown & cultivated by the courageous Intellectual gardener. The controlled output will be :

Awake  Attentive  Alert  Assertive  Balance  Contentment  Harmony  Demeanor  Stability  Abundance  Good wishes  Celibacy   Austerity  Innocence  Forgiveness  Altruistic  Introversion  Discipline  Self Sovereignty   Charity    

HARVEST OF NEGATIVITY

Forest of Negative thoughts will grow when the impure seeds are of acquired kind, coupled with the cultivation by the  lazy intellectual gardener. The uncontrolled output will be  as follows :

  

Attachment  Ownership  Resistance  Controlling  Desires  Addictions  Indulgence  Noise  Asleep  lazy  Guilt  Slave  Victim  Indolence  Defeated  Bitterness  Resentment  Despair  Jealousy  Disconnected   Exclusiveness   Unworthy   

BACK TO SQUARE ONE

When the thought, intention, feeling or emotion has arisen inside it is deemed as a subtle action for sure. The next stage is the actual action. The emotion translates into action, which is your karma. Again the seed has been consolidated, confirmed, reaffirmed for smoother action in the future time.  It is a perpetual loop. It is time to stop the loop now, dead in its tracks, for a beautiful trouble free future time to come. 



NICE & SLOW

Sip your coffee, nice and slow,

No one ever knows when it’s time to go,

There’ll be no time to enjoy the glow,

So sip your coffee nice and slow. 

Life is too short but feels pretty long,

There’s too much to do, so much going wrong,

And most of the time you struggle to be strong,

Before it’s too late and it’s time to go,

Sip your coffee nice and slow. 

Some friends stay, others go away,

Loved ones are cherished, but not all will stay ,

Kids will grow up and fly away,

There’s really no saying how things will go,

So sip your coffee nice and slow. 

Before you know it seasons have changed,

Those precious little moments are part of yesterday,

Most things have turned out relatively okay,

And you finally reap what you have sown,

So sip your coffee nice and slow. 

In the end it’s really all about love,

For this world and it’s beauty and the stars above,

For His grace in your life , for each present moment,

Smile and breathe and let your worries go,

Just sip your coffee nice and slow.....

Rohit Khanna - IN-BOUND & IN-VALID    

 ALL e-books by ROHIT KHANNA on Amazon.com - CLINK ON THE LINK BELOW

https://www.amazon.com/default/e/B004S80JYW?redirectedFromKindleDbs=true

    

     

  

  

MISTAKEN IDENTITY COVERING TRUE IDENTITY - prognosis

MISTAKEN IDENTITY  VS TRUE IDENTITY

SERIES OF INCARNATIONS 

I take birth as a tiny baby according to some Divine scale of luck. Latter on through death, tragedy, or accident I leave this body & switch to another newer tiny body. Just as I the Soul am the driver of this vehicle, & on collision, I exit from this one to switch to another newer vehicle.

NO TRAFFIC CONTROL AT THOUGHT PORT

On the path of growing up we are abandoned & left in the hands of novices, untrained, ignorant bunch of humans. There are no schools to teach us HOW TO THINK ! THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE ! HOW TO SLOW DOWN & SHUT OFF THE MIND ! Now we end up learning all the wrong lessons in our home grown back yard class room. This local domestic education prepares us for over thinking, obsessive thinking, wasteful & toxic thinking. We generate thoughts in very large volumes, in waves after waves, which have deep impact on the object of the thought. The mind becomes the DOMESTIC THOUGHT PORT, where thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, inspirations, intentions land & then take off without any schedule. In the absence of a central controller / administrator such chaotic explosive situations are bound to happen. The net result is chain of never ending accidents, crashes, conflicts & troubles. Thoughts by themselves have no substance, it is I who give life, energy & power to them.  

CONSEQUENCES OF POOR THOUGHT MANAGEMENT

The above predicament has taken the Soul away from the Original true Identity of Peace, Joy, Happiness.  I was a spiritual being having an human experience. The unlimited sea outlook has been replaced with limited well outlook. The self understanding, self empowerment, awareness & practice of the inner self has vanished into thin air. Moods have become the tides of the dulled intellect. I am  a rudderless boat drifting in a sea of doubts far from safe anchorage. In short you have acquired a mistaken Identity needing a fix up. I the Ego is quite ugly. It is full of self importance, mushrooming into arrogance & further crystallizing as Pride. I am  carrying the wrong perception that I am a physical set of coordinates in body conscious orientation of sexual lust as the foremost desire culminating into compulsive & compelling  demands.

BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND & KNOW HIM

What is the way out of this mess. Meditation is the only answer for this malady. Start with inner conversation with myself. Become your own best friend. Deep Inside is very calm & extremely powerful. Raja Yoga is about constantly creating right & positive thoughts that keeps you both relaxed & alert in a state of peaceful readiness. The inner thermostat has become dysfunctional & needs intensive repairs / overhauling. Start with Introspection as a detached observer. Move on to Contemplation of the original state of the soul. Take the next step into deep Concentration on one single idea. Finally become an embodiment of experience of all of the above. THE ESSENCE IS SOUL CONSCIOUSNESS. Consider yourself as a soul & see others as souls too. Now  remain in a balanced state of SELF RESPECT as opposed to unwanted attitudes of Superiority or Inferiority.   

ILLUSIONS                                                           REALITIES

Attachment                                         Appreciation
Dependencies                                      Love & caring
Greed                                                 Generosity
Arrogance                                           Authenticity
Masks                                                 Sincere
Persona                                              Genuine 
Personality                                          Self Respect
Lust                                                    True Love
Fear, Worry, threats                              Love 
Laziness, Undisciplined                         Action
Lasting negativity                                Change, Transform 

Walk not on hot coals, but on fire of negativity of self & others, without getting burnt.

Rohit Khanna - IN-COMPATIBLE & IN-FINITE

ALL e-books by ROHIT KHANNA on Amazon.com - CLINK ON THE LINK BELOW

https://www.amazon.com/default/e/B004S80JYW?redirectedFromKindleDbs=true