CREATORS MARRIAGE BOX
IN-VERTED PARADIGM
The long lost children have now been found & adopted by the Creator. He is the bridegroom who will be taking us into our new Home to IN-STALL us with Him. To begin with our first IN-NINGS the marriage box that we IN-HERIT is empty, contrary to our IN-QUIRY & belief that we will find all the things we have longed for in marriage: IN-TIMACY, friendship, companionship, love, peace.
IN-SERT FIRST
One must put in something before one can take out anything from the box. Love, Peace, Bliss are in the people / partners, not in the marriage or the stupid box. There is no romance in marriage box as yet. As an IN-FATUATED couple we have to learn the art & form the habit of IN-COME first of giving, loving, looking at specialties, praising, serving, keeping the IN-FLOW into the box full before anyone partner can take out anything. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty soon or will remain empty.
BENEVOLENT CREATOR
Creator is always first, in doing his part of the equation and keeps the marriage box overflowing with all the goodies. Now it is our turn to add into the box all that we have. But what do we have is the big question to ourselves.
JUNK IS ALL WE HAVE
On the long journey of 84 births spanning over an elapsed time of 5000 years, we have amassed lot of junk and piled it up over the valuable stuff that we had at the start of the beautiful journey. To dig out the valuable jewels we must throw out the piled up junk first into the IN-CINERATOR that has been positioned adjacent to the marriage box. Once the junk is IN-TOMB the incinerator you cannot retrieve it ever again in future. This was the hard part of the IN-BUILT bargain.
DIG THE JEWELS OUT
Now that the jewels are accessible we must IN-DULGE & grab them, dust them off, and quickly put them into the marriage box to complete our part of the equation. The creator becomes very pleased at this herculean gesture of ours and so do we.
PRESCRIPTION - HAPPY RELATIONSHIP IN LIFE
RIGHT TO FREEDOM
This is a very basic need of all human beings. We have our BROUGHT FORWARD seeds / sanskars through which we all are acting all the time. Change is tough & time consuming. It requires a very SHARP IN-TELLECT to realize this aspect of acting. Our actions will continue to manifest impulsively, mostly out of unawareness which will never be palatable to the other partner / spouse. The reason being that we are all different, harboring almost opposite class of seeds / sanskars. Do not expect similar class of actions from your partner ever. Expectations are an excellent source of IRRITATION, & irritations cause IN-FLAMMATION inside. - Now you know.
REFLEX ACTION - CONTROLLING
The most obvious reaction to the repulsive behavior of the partner is to cut him off, negate him, disagree totally, & get into the impossible task of changing him, which adds up to CONTROLLING HIM, 24/7.
There you go, now you have a full time job, unpaid of course, frustrating absolutely because the results of the constant bullying never appear on the horizon.
CAN ONE EVER CONTROL THE WORLD
The answer is NO. You may like it or not. Lets come to your three year old toddler, can you control him ever. You have to keep a tab on him 24/7, run around the house behind him just in case he runs into dangerous situations which he will always. Can you control your teenage children. Again a big NO. They rebel, defy you, they leave the home to live separately on their own terms. Your ideas are outdated for them, so you keep them to yourselves. Now we come the main hero of the Drama of life, your spouse. Please remember that MEN ARE FROM MARS & WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.
You both are DIFFERENT, get this in your head. Each of us will behave differently & no one is wrong or right, good or bad, just different. But we do not like it, so what is the solution to this very pressing mind boggling predicament.
EASY WAY OUT - TOLERATE
Yes you got it. We all have to learn to tolerate the other persons actions, behavior, mannerisms & intentions too. Have mercy for the poor soul & tolerate with a heavy heart. FORGIVE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. When you forgive the other person for offending you, in reality you are benefiting your self. If you continue to remain in HATE, then you are poisoning yourself only & no one else. Besides tolerating you have no other choice, so understand this very well & come to terms internally, sooner the better for your own mental & physical health.
COOPERATE WITH A SMILE
Life must go on & that too smoothly. Therefore get into the cooperation mode. Having taken MERCY on the poor soul & FORGIVEN him genuinely from inside, now is the time to SMILE IN-TERNALLY again for your own sake & COOPERATE whole heartedly for the common cause of the family, children & other relatives around in the home or far away.
KARMA IS THE REASON TO COOPERATE
In the past life the male was a female & the female was a male. In this past life you SCREWED each other, now both of you have IN-CARNATED as a couple by DIVINE intervention, & not your own choosing to settle the BROUGHT FORWARD karmic account. Since it is your own DOING you better understand the COSMIC DRAMA in the right perspective & COOPERATE WILLINGLY the part of REVERSE SCREWING, with a smile. Just take it lying down happily & enjoy the ride.
THE PAINFUL PARTING WAY
Finally it all boils down to simple maths. We want to have our say & do our thing. We do not have the will to change ourselves for the better, while on the other hand controlling others works in the opposite direction of antagonizing them. So the only choice we are left with is to TOLERATE & COOPERATE with a smile. When we fail to do even this much then the limits of PATIENCE are crossed & it makes good sense to go our own SEPARATE WAYS without any ILL FEELINGS, HATE FILLED IN-TENTIONS or EMOTIONS OF REVENGE. Just part & live separately on your terms. Eventually both partners suffer a great deal on this account of holding up their EGOS, refusing to bend, let go & ACCOMMODATE the other into their lives. I feel sorry & sad for you guys.
NETT OUT COME SORROW & MISERY
Going separate ways means alienation from a cohesive group of friends & family. Sense of longing pervades both partners all the time, because it is not easy to obliterate the memories so quickly. Modified life style is down graded to a large extent because of financial crunch, single income now. Emotional drain is IN-VISIBLE but for sure a big one too. Energy wise both partners have to manage all the domestic chores single handed, which becomes a major set back on their leisure time. Eventually the path is laid out for LONELINESS FRUSTRATION DEPRESSION DOOMED & FUTILITY - what is the use ATTITUDE.
This can definitely lead to suicidal tendencies & attempts. - Go figure it for your self.
PRESCRIPTION - HAPPY RELATIONSHIP IN LIFE
RIGHT TO FREEDOM
This is a very basic need of all human beings. We have our BROUGHT FORWARD seeds / sanskars through which we all are acting all the time. Change is tough & time consuming. It requires a very SHARP IN-TELLECT to realize this aspect of acting. Our actions will continue to manifest impulsively, mostly out of unawareness which will never be palatable to the other partner / spouse. The reason being that we are all different, harboring almost opposite class of seeds / sanskars. Do not expect similar class of actions from your partner ever. Expectations are an excellent source of IRRITATION, & irritations cause IN-FLAMMATION inside. - Now you know.
REFLEX ACTION - CONTROLLING
The most obvious reaction to the repulsive behavior of the partner is to cut him off, negate him, disagree totally, & get into the impossible task of changing him, which adds up to CONTROLLING HIM, 24/7.
There you go, now you have a full time job, unpaid of course, frustrating absolutely because the results of the constant bullying never appear on the horizon.
CAN ONE EVER CONTROL THE WORLD
The answer is NO. You may like it or not. Lets come to your three year old toddler, can you control him ever. You have to keep a tab on him 24/7, run around the house behind him just in case he runs into dangerous situations which he will always. Can you control your teenage children. Again a big NO. They rebel, defy you, they leave the home to live separately on their own terms. Your ideas are outdated for them, so you keep them to yourselves. Now we come the main hero of the Drama of life, your spouse. Please remember that MEN ARE FROM MARS & WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.
You both are DIFFERENT, get this in your head. Each of us will behave differently & no one is wrong or right, good or bad, just different. But we do not like it, so what is the solution to this very pressing mind boggling predicament.
EASY WAY OUT - TOLERATE
Yes you got it. We all have to learn to tolerate the other persons actions, behavior, mannerisms & intentions too. Have mercy for the poor soul & tolerate with a heavy heart. FORGIVE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. When you forgive the other person for offending you, in reality you are benefiting your self. If you continue to remain in HATE, then you are poisoning yourself only & no one else. Besides tolerating you have no other choice, so understand this very well & come to terms internally, sooner the better for your own mental & physical health.
COOPERATE WITH A SMILE
Life must go on & that too smoothly. Therefore get into the cooperation mode. Having taken MERCY on the poor soul & FORGIVEN him genuinely from inside, now is the time to SMILE IN-TERNALLY again for your own sake & COOPERATE whole heartedly for the common cause of the family, children & other relatives around in the home or far away.
KARMA IS THE REASON TO COOPERATE
In the past life the male was a female & the female was a male. In this past life you SCREWED each other, now both of you have IN-CARNATED as a couple by DIVINE intervention, & not your own choosing to settle the BROUGHT FORWARD karmic account. Since it is your own DOING you better understand the COSMIC DRAMA in the right perspective & COOPERATE WILLINGLY the part of REVERSE SCREWING, with a smile. Just take it lying down happily & enjoy the ride.
THE PAINFUL PARTING WAY
Finally it all boils down to simple maths. We want to have our say & do our thing. We do not have the will to change ourselves for the better, while on the other hand controlling others works in the opposite direction of antagonizing them. So the only choice we are left with is to TOLERATE & COOPERATE with a smile. When we fail to do even this much then the limits of PATIENCE are crossed & it makes good sense to go our own SEPARATE WAYS without any ILL FEELINGS, HATE FILLED IN-TENTIONS or EMOTIONS OF REVENGE. Just part & live separately on your terms. Eventually both partners suffer a great deal on this account of holding up their EGOS, refusing to bend, let go & ACCOMMODATE the other into their lives. I feel sorry & sad for you guys.
NETT OUT COME SORROW & MISERY
Going separate ways means alienation from a cohesive group of friends & family. Sense of longing pervades both partners all the time, because it is not easy to obliterate the memories so quickly. Modified life style is down graded to a large extent because of financial crunch, single income now. Emotional drain is IN-VISIBLE but for sure a big one too. Energy wise both partners have to manage all the domestic chores single handed, which becomes a major set back on their leisure time. Eventually the path is laid out for LONELINESS FRUSTRATION DEPRESSION DOOMED & FUTILITY - what is the use ATTITUDE.
This can definitely lead to suicidal tendencies & attempts. - Go figure it for your self.
A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE
People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business, they'll say "Ahh Oga Victor, go and marry so you'll stop washing".
They'll see a man cooking and be like "Bro John, you need to get married so you can stop cooking".
A mother will assist her 35 years old son, who cannot wash his own boxers, boil water for tea or even make his own bed, a 35 years old that cannot take his plates to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James, you need to settle down, get a woman to take care of you". SERIOUSLY?? because she knows that she will be not there for him very soon.
In different ways, the society subconsciously tell men that they don't marry women for any reason, other than cleaning, cooking and childbearing. I begin to wonder, does the average man needs a wife or a glorified maid?
Many women look three times their age, all because of stress and exhaustion. You sit down in front of the TV with your phone and watch, while your wife works until she's about to pass out. REALLY??
Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates?
Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes?
Who told you that it is wrong to make your bed when you wake up?
What will it take, to help your partner with chores in the house?
If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet, pampered, fed and nursed, then, he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be picked up.
BUT If you want a wife, to love, to cherish, to do different things with her, assist in some chores, and love her for the rest of your life, then get married.
AND if you are getting married because you feel you're becoming too old to do your own chores then get a maid.
Women are to be cherished, pampered and loved, not USED.
Rohit Khanna - IN-SITU & IN-SNARE
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