Inspired by my grand children - Vicky, Ria, Rini, Rian, Lavisha, & Pinacky
UNDERSTANDING OUR CHILDREN BETTER & DEALING WITH THEM MORE LOVINGLY
SPEEDING UP THE PROCESS - This is a trap for them & a difficult one to escape from. Their decision becomes binding on them. It is good for both the child & the young parents.
SKILL DEVELOPMENT ON THE SIDE - This system will encourage team work, co-operation, shouldering responsibility & natural bonding.
Why is the sky blue?
Where do babies come from?
How the initial water on the planet appeared?
Why do we have to fight wars?
What is the difference between Virtues & Vices.
MENTORING THE FUTURE YOUNG PARENTS
Aim of parenting the children :
Structure their THINKING PROCESS
Build up SELF CONFIDENCE
Sharpen the INTELLECT
Enhance SELF ESTEEM
Facilitate DECISION MAKING
STOOP DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL
What do children like the most ? Fun, laughter & Playing games of make believe. I mean stupid games too. Act dumb often & see the magic happen. They have no BOX yet to think inside. Their creativity in unmatched & limitless.
Should the process of parenting be tough or simple ? Of course it must be extremely easy, such that even the child does not realize that he or she is being mentored at all.
WINNING WITH STRATEGY
Here we go….. The master strategy is all about QUESTIONS & more questions. We should not be TELLING them anything at all. They do not listen, anyway to our preaching nor do they believe a word of it. Their attitude is FIRST PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. Consider this retort to be a silent reply from their side. This tells us pretty loudly that they are adept COPY CATS / Imitating monkeys & we have to straighten our own act.
SELF ASSESSMENT & INTROSPECTION
The first series of questions that arise is for ourselves.
Do we make enough time to listen to them?
Do we spend time out doors exercising, walking, playing games, before telling them to do the same?
Do we swear in the company of our children?
Why do we shout at our spouses & them for silly reasons?
Do we get upset & display anger over trivial matters?
Do we converse slowly, calmly, softly or NO?
Do we appreciate each other often?
Do we give meaningful complements when the situation demands.
Do the children often find us dull, sulking & off mood?
I am sure that all of the above are applicable in most of us. If yes then, what next. They are going to pick up, absorb & imbibe all our negative traits automatically. THE ANSWER IS CHANGE, TRANSFORM, REFINE, REFORM SELF FIRST.
RE-FRAME YOUR COMMANDS INTO REQUESTS - sugar coat them with humility additionally.
Dear child, do you mind cleaning up the mess of scattered toys, alone or with mommy/daddy?
My sweet child, when will be the best time to finish your homework, before or after dinner?
My love, which of the chores would you prefer to take up : dish washing or folding up clothes?
Sweetheart, what is the best time for you to go to bed on school days : 8 or 9 pm.
Darling, will it be a good time saving idea to line up your uniform & bag at night : YES OR NO ?
My doll, can you ring the bell when you have done brushing up your teeth for the night?
A word of caution - Shouting & Shooting out commands at small / tiny beings will definitely make PERFECT REBELS out of them. Go ahead with your ancient up bringing & stubborn habits.
TRAIN THEM TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES - OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS - have lots of patience
Is any issue bothering you?
Do you wish to panic & rush through in life?
What should you be doing to be at peace always?
If there is this Creation, Should there be a Creator?
What are you thinking right now?
Is it possible to slow down your thoughts/thinking?
What skills do you want to acquire?
Do you wish to learn & master any musical instrument?
Which sport will suit your personality?
You can take advantage of your height to compete in athletics & excel too?
Is public display of your personal emotion like anger, a healthy norm?
What will bring a lasting smile on your face?
GIVE THEM MULTIPLE CHOICES - TWO ARE MANDATORY.
Honey, where do you wish to celebrate your next birthday, at home or out in the public gardens?
Darling, for your graduation party, do you want to procure a new expensive gown or rent one for a small price?
My love, where should we plan our next family summer vacation, far away or near by?
Sweet heart, do you approve or disapprove of the continuous ingesting of harmful substances like cigarettes & alcohol?
SPEEDING UP THE PROCESS - This is a trap for them & a difficult one to escape from. Their decision becomes binding on them. It is good for both the child & the young parents.
INVOLVE THEM IN DOMESTIC/BUSINESS AFFAIRS - FOR CREATIVE SOLUTIONS
Can you help me in putting this IKEA bed together, please?
I would highly appreciate, your expertise in computers to fix my email glitch?
Our coffee table needs a new paint job, could you kindly pitch in during the week ends/holidays?
The family car has a flat tire, can we change it together as a Formula One team?
Our back yard could look fabulous with a minor trimming & hedge cutting, if you can lend a hand dear?
We need an extra pair of dexterous hands to help out in the kitchen, dear child, are you game for it?
SKILL DEVELOPMENT ON THE SIDE - This system will encourage team work, co-operation, shouldering responsibility & natural bonding.
WHEN CHILDREN ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS - be ready for them.
Firstly there are no wrong questions from a child's point of view. Every question is logical & genuine for the small developing brain.
Why is the sky blue?
Where do babies come from?
How the initial water on the planet appeared?
Why do we have to fight wars?
What is the difference between Virtues & Vices.
MAKING SEEKERS OUT OF THEM
Answer every question of theirs very very briefly. Use one or two words only & wait for their reactions. Follow up your two words with another standard QUESTION - My child, WHAT DO YOU THINK can be the possible answer. This is a million dollar strategy to get them to become a SEEKER / THINKER. The biggest development of your child will happen during this moment. Their self esteem gets a big boost, sense of worthiness blossoms. They feels accepted as they are & feels Valued by the world.
THE VALUE OF NOT KNOWING
Answer all their stupid questions as if they are extremely meaningful. The second most important strategy is being HONEST ABOUT NOT KNOWING THE ANSWER to some of their questions. Say humbly & but clearly, my child, I DO NOT KNOW the answer to this question of yours. This will teach them the most important lesson of life - THAT PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW MANY THINGS and it is very very NORMAL thing, to, not to know. Once they do not know & this realization sits in their Intellect, then SEEKING will happen. I will go to the extent & pretend that I do not know on 50 % of the occasions. I will openly admit that I DO NOT KNOW just to enjoy the reaction of shock on their faces - DAD, REALLY YOU DO NOT KNOW? Of course my child, but we will try to seek the truth behind your question together. This togetherness business will create the bonding that lasts for their full life time.
Rohit Khanna : IN-EVITABLE
AUTHOR – MAGIC OF MIND & MIRACLE OF BODY
https://www.amazon.ca/MAGIC-MIND-MIRACLE-Rohit-Khanna-ebook/dp/B004RHX8JC
E-book
https://www.amazon.ca/Magic-mind-Miracle-body-healing/dp/1466239271
Hard cover book
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/magic-of-the-mind-miracle-of-the-body-mr-rohit-khanna/1115634471
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