LOVE IS THE QUEEN OF ALL VALUES - IMBIBING VALUES
HATE IS LOVE STANDING UPSIDE DOWN
When you are not in love, then you are in fear. You are a slave of fear. Hate is, love standing upside down. You are a product of love, not sex or lust. You were born to love, in the right fashion and not be a part of the population explosion. Love is not your power; it is your helplessness, utter helplessness. It is a cry of a weeping heart. Just accept it. People are loveless. Nobody knows how to love. You are taught, the wrong lessons of romantic love, abstract love, and fairy tale love. You are taught, by your role models about domestic love, passionate love. The urgency, to settle down in life is pushed. You are pressurized to acquire, all that foolish baggage, furniture, house, and family, at the cost of your life. They say, you must postpone, true love and loving now. You are bulldozed, into the path of suffering with passionate love or being lonely, without love.
VIOLENT LOVE
Being in love with one particular person will make you happy, whole, and a perfect human being. This is your first Blocking belief in the series of other blocking belief’s to come. When a little girl is raped, violated, her mind will escape from her body and wander randomly. She will not feel the callused hands and fingers penetrating her private areas. She will not suffer the pain of a grown up oversize penis ripping the vaginal tissue of her vagina. Her mind goes numb, heart goes cold, and she goes in a state of shock.
Our traumas, toxic experiences keep us crippled because we hold them down in fear, in anger, and in shame. Change means throwing away the crutches of dysfunction and standing up without any external support, anew in a brand new world. Traumas cause pain to our minds, bodies, and soul resulting in Multiple Personalities Disorder. It numbs our minds and brings about total disassociation or short circuit only to protect us, our false images. It is inbuilt mechanism in our systems. The unconscious mind, which is very sensitive to pain, sends out an SOS signal to our conscious mind which perceives it as anxiety, on the physical level. All this is taking place automatically just to defend our Egoistic images of ourselves. In short we refuse to change, period. The massive momentum of the trauma overrides our capacity to change and the defense mechanism gets triggered to bring about Mental Illness, coupled with extreme anxiety. We choose to become Mad or mentally sick rather than change our view points. So strong are the roots, of strict childhood upbringing.
LOVE THROUGH PAIN
Most of us learn the wrong lessons of love through pain. Abusive, negligently inflicted unnecessary pain is meted out to us. We learn to expect pain, as an ingredient, of being loved. The loved ones will hurt you and ignore your pain. It is never explained to you. You got to figure it out for yourself by watching, listening, and experiencing the pain and hurt, first hand. An abandoning father sets the pattern of love, in your life, on the boom of your subconscious. You learn to define love, by its absence, rather than its presence, by the pain it inflicted, rather than the joy, it was supposed to bring. If you bear the pain of love silently, you can hope against hope, that someone will one day love you enough, to hurt you again.
People will get what they want, from you and then leave. Young girls are often tricked, by (strangers) their boy friends, into believing that they love them, just to have sex with them. They tell lies and false praise, to get what they want from you, your piece of innocence. Then, when you really need that someone, the people you expect to be there, will not be there.
PAIN IS PART OF THE TOTAL PACKAGE
Paradoxically people deny each other love, compassion, and understanding that they both yearn for. You have to be aware, of your fears that love can hurt. This fear, does not allow new people, to come close to you and become intimate. It is tough for most of us, to open up our hearts and receive love and enjoy it, instead of getting frightened by it. Of course, love does not come with a guarantee, to not to, hurt you. Love sometimes, does hurt, but that is the chance, we all have to take. When the other person leaves, we don’t cease to be wonderful, for what ever reason. Unfortunately, we misunderstand the happening and close our hearts and shut down. We are afraid of living out, our feelings of pain, and sadness.
PASSIONATE LOVE IS HOT & UNIDIRECTIONAL
It is directed to one person. Love means to desire with immense intensity. It is between you and someone else, a stranger to begin with. Then, as time goes by, you think, you become familiar and friendly with the stranger. After some more time has passed, you get fed up of the familiar face and body. The intense desire, for this stranger, has burnt out. Now, you desire a new stranger, to replace the familiar stranger. Love is spontaneous, the unknown, the unexpected. Passionate love does not come, alone. It brings with it, its own troublesome baggage of jealousy, possessiveness, anger, fighting, quarreling, nagging, intolerance, domination. It’s part of the total package.
First you look for a perfect mate. The perfect one is nowhere to be found. It may happen, some time, in the future. You are so lonely, without love. Eventually, you do get together with an almost perfect mate. You are still unhappy, because of minor imperfections, in your mate. The nose is slightly longer, the teeth are not aligned, the complexion is over tanned, or the gait is lethargic. You end up with no love, in every situation. How you deal with love, is how LOVE will deal with you. Falling in love is a comic and Cosmic Mystery. How it happens? When it happens? You don’t know. Love is a gift that chooses you, for a brief period of time. You do not choose love, but you are supposed to celebrate it, accept it, feel it filling you up and overflowing your heart, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it, alive, in you. Give it to others, who seem poor in spirit, around you. When we are in love, our hearts open up and we are able to get in touch, with those weak spots, within ourselves, making us feel perfect and wonderful.
LOVE IS SEASONAL
Love has its own time, season, and reason for coming and going. You can not bribe it, coerce it, or reason it, into staying, when it chooses to fly away. You should do nothing if and when love decides to leave. Just let go. Let it go away. Do not try to hold on to it, nor reclaim it. We want answers, there are no answers. There is no meaning, beyond the love itself. Feel honored, that someone loves you, but unfortunately, you do not feel love for that someone. Gently, refuse the gift that you can not return or reciprocate. Never take advantage and cause pain. Keep your heart open, love will come back again. Simply trust it and trust yourself.
SELF LOVE IS OUR PRIME DUTY
First crush, first love, first date, first kiss and first break up, are all stages of maturing up. Love is a teacher. The lessons to be learnt are all on SELF: Self worth, self confidence, self esteem, self respect, and self love. Loving your self is the first and foremost lesson and duty. Spend time working on self, giving yourself time and energy. Experience your own power. To love your self is the beginning of a life long romance. Be kind and listen to your heart. Enjoy the ride. Happiness and pain are the exercises, for your heart making it stronger every time. Love is always present, you have to feel it or not feel it.
Man is a well of energy. The well has to be active always. You have to keep drawing the water out of the well all of the time. This is how the well fills up. If you close down the well, then the water dries up. The springs that feed the well, clog up and the stagnant water evaporates. Man, like the well must be active and continue loving, as long as, he is alive. You got to learn the correct lesson on love. When you need to be loved, you take love, where ever you can find it. When you are desperate, to be loved, to feel love, to know love, then, you seek out, what you think love should be, or looks like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, steal, or even kill, to keep it. It is only a perception. You are not sure what you are looking for. Unfortunately learning about love comes from within. It cannot be given or taken away. It grows from your sense of self. You create and recreate love within yourself, if and when you have had, loving experiences in your life. By a long shot, you are not likely to have had, any such loving experiences, so you are empty inside. You are like a tourist in a strange country without a road map. You hold onto, reach out to, and find yourself embroiled in mistaken beliefs, mirages about you and love.
MISTAKING SENSUAL PLEASURE FOR LOVE
Pleasure is derived through the skin. The total area covered by skin in an adult body is roughly 19 sq ft. that’s a lot of area for contact and exposure. We live in a very tactile world. Indians and Japanese never touch in public. They bow and bend down towards each other, in salutations. They wish each other by joining their hands together, and uttering the words, ‘Namaste’, which means ‘I salute your soul’. That is correct; the body is temporary and perishable while soul is permanent. Sensual physical pleasure is limited to a few bodies & is cheap LUST, while real pure love is INTENTIONAL FEELINGS from the heart & is unlimited for all beings.
THE TOUCH PARADOX
We are very TOUCHY about touch or skin contact. Would you hug a dirty, diseased beggar for $100? No! Never, because he is dirty, infected, and has the potential of making you sick. But hugging is therapeutic so why would you not help heal the beggar by hugging him. You can heal yourself too in the process.
Now, imagine yourself as a nurse and your job is to look after the same beggar in a nursing home. You will be touching him, feeding him, being compassionate towards him and getting paid for it too, in excess of $100 dollars. One beggar got you into two different situations. It is all in the mind. You are for, the dirty beggar or against, the diseased beggar. Can not make up your mind!
TOUCH IS FUNDAMENTAL
Touch is a basic need. A new born baby will not survive for a week, if is not touched, held, and cuddled. Touch is so powerful that the mother can transfer her fears and apprehensions, and other feelings to the baby instantly. All children enjoy each others company by touching. They hug, kiss, embrace, and keep falling on each other in various games. They hold hands and laugh together. As adults we do the same things. We enjoy by touching each others bodies and the final act of sex and orgasm is basically rubbing of two bodies very intimately and passionately for a short period of time. Touch stimulates the brain to produce hormones like endorphin and dopamine. They are nature’s morphine, to help us get into relaxation mode and let go. Unfortunately we prefer to rely on alcohol, and drugs to relax and let go. Today we have mechanical massage's and vibrators to replicate the human touch. Hydraulic messages, sauna baths, whirlpool baths are trying to replace the human touch, but it is not the same thing.
Rohit Khanna - Love all, includes self.
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