THE TRUTH OF PARENTING
Parents rarely let go of their children,
So children let go of them & move away / on.
Parents do ruin & damage their children. It can not be helped.
Because their parents did the same damage to them.
Youth is like pristine glass - It absorbs the PRINTS of its HANDLERS :
Smudge, Cracks, Shatter.
Damage of their neglect shows up as : Hate, Violence & Silence.
RIGHTING THE WRONG, IS, WRONG.
Had our past, childhood, been different, we would have gradually come to master our own emotions, just like walking and mathematics. But it did not happen that way, for most of us. Our parent’s negativity was their problem. They had less civilized grandparents and parents of their own, who used spanking, whipping, yelling, verbal abuses, and physical punishment on them, in abundance, to help them learn RIGHT from WRONG. This is what they internalized and now they apply the same techniques of upbringing on us. We would probably, do the same to our children, because we would not know, anything different or better. First sin, first clothing, the fig leaf caused it all. They put the most horrible emotion of shame into our heads for nothing. We reject our body. We reject our nakedness and bring on sufferings, anxiety, & diseases.
BRINGING UP CHILDREN - OBSESSIVE NO ALWAYS
He acquires new skills at this stage. He can crawl and toddle. His new independence is intoxicating and therefore wants to explore new spaces, for which he is punished. He is taught hard discipline for running into dangers, not yet suspected. He can string up words and rejoice at the sounds, he can make and hear. Talking is fun and he enjoys being the center of attraction. He discards his toys and parental affection for the “Forbidden Eden Garden”. He can deduce and relate with his mental ability, thus he begins to dream of things, beyond tangible reach. Mom can I go outside in the beautiful sun! No! An obsessive NO! It is difficult to say yes, and if said yes, it is done reluctantly, making the child feel guilty.
TOTAL DICTATORSHIP
The child wants to sit and see the stars out side a little longer. NO! Come inside and go to sleep, when he is not feeling sleepy. When he sleeps and wants to dream a little longer in the early morning, mom says NO! Wake up; this is no time to sleep. Get ready and eat, but mom I am not hungry, NO! You have to eat right now. Total dictatorship, in the house and he is a slave. No wonder, they want to leave the house as soon as possible, when they grow up, to get to do, what they want to do? The ignorant parents sow the seeds first and latter on repent, when the birds fly away prematurely, from their nests.
DRIVING HOME THE MESSAGE OF SHAME
For a child there is no difference between his body parts, a nose or his sex organs, they are just the same for him. But he is baffled when he is smacked on the hand every time he plays with or touches his sex organs. This happens many times in a day. It is re-enforced weeks after weeks. Enjoying your own body is denied. The message driven home is of SHAME. Sex is BAD, dirty. He is taught wrongly, that nudity is gross. The child starts hating itself. Gender is recognized through clothes. We over clothe our children and ourselves. Two small children, peep into a nudist camp, through a hole. They can not identify man and woman, because they are not wearing clothes. How tragic, that you do not see yourself nude in your own dreams, so much afraid of your own body. Latter on as an adults, you are expected to perform well, sexually in a marriage. It is not going to happen. Do you see what went wrong already?
KILLING HIS CREATIVITY
If a child wants to open up and see how a clock works. – NO! his curiosity is killed instantaneously. An inquiring mind is destroyed, instead of destroying a worthless clock. Thomas Alva Edison, the greatest inventor was lucky to have an intelligent mother, who allowed him to destroy an old clock, to keep his curiosity alive, for his whole life. NO! Don’t! These two words are very potent. The child is made to understand, that happiness is wrong and being miserable is right. We destroy the possibility of ecstasy, joyful, delightful, life. You see, how things went wrong, in your past.
TIME IS NOT MONEY
Parents have no time to love, so they substitute love with pocket money and other cash incentives. The child learns to be greedy. Money respectability is symbolic. So much money in the bank! Paradoxically, the value of money comes, only, when you spend it, and not hoard it.
UNDERSTANDING HOW ONE ACHIEVES MEDIOCRITY.
AT BIRTH INFANT IS AN INNOCENT PURE SOUL
AT THE MERCY OF IGNORANT CAREGIVERS
Now the complex dynamics happen as follows :
Dissatisfied Mothers transfer Neglect, delayed gratification of breast feeding.
Arrogant Step mothers convey Resentment.
Lonely Grandparents transmit gloominess, sadness.
LEADING TO ANXIETY, HATRED, SELF REJECTION, NUMBNESS, INSECURITY.
Sickly Uncles & Aunties exhibit Negativity.
Unfriendly neighbors teach Complaining, Arguing.
NORMAL INTERACTIONS TRIGGER THOUGHTS & FEELINGS OF
HYPER, CONFUSED, SCATTERED, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, LOW SELF ESTEEM
Irritating Guests / Visitors display Intruding, Rudeness, Seeking.
Dysfunctional Colleagues / Bosses Ingrain Rejection, Humiliation.
AT THE HANDS OF TOXIC CARETAKERS
The child's psyche & personality deflowers further :
Alcoholic Fathers permeate Fear, Oppression.
Dogmatic step fathers resort to Quarreling, Beating.
Skewed maids & servants inject Frustration.
EXPERIENCED AS NEGATIVITY OF
PUT DOWN, DEPRESSION, SULKING, SORROW, MASKING, SELF TALK.
Asexual Baby Sitters split sexuality, lewdness.
Egoistic Teachers impart Controlling
Lustful Coaches spoil true love by groping, forced intimacy.
MANIFESTING AS VISIBLE MANNERISMS OF
BODY-CONSCIOUSNESS, EGO, ANGER, VIOLENCE, GREED, LUST
Conceited friends down play by Bullying, Challenging.
Critical Cousins & Relatives confuse with Judging Comparing.
EVOLVING INTO SELF DEFEATING ACTIONS, VICES & ADDICTIONS
LEADING TO A DESTINY OF PAIN, MISERY &SELF DESTRUCTION.
HOW THE INTANGIBLES DESTROY THE TANGIBLE BODY
Self Limiting Beliefs are Irrational & permeate the Personality.
Suppressed Feelings of Fear translate to Holding up Tensions evolving as :
Avoid Confrontation, Take Blame, Take Rejection personally.
Low Self respect manifests as Shame, Abused & used.
Self Destruction happens through Compulsions of Helplessness & Grief.
Low self worth is totally erroneous & forms an integral part of personality.
Depressed emotions of hate cause muscles to tense up leading to :
Indifference, Paralytic, Unworthy of Love, Blocking the flow, Shutting down.
Depression is the total drying up of Joy & replacing it with Bitter Taste & ugliness.
Rohit Khanna - A fortunate one by HIS Grace.
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