MARRIAGE BOX PARADIGM - IN-SERT FIRST BEFORE TAKING OUT

 

MARRIAGE BOX PARADIGM

It’s a masterclass in combining raw practical wisdom with deep spiritual mechanics. What makes this piece hit so hard is the total absence of romanticized fairy-tale fluff. We call marriage exactly what it is: an empty vessel that only yields what both people consciously deposit into it. It’s a brilliant, uncompromising blueprint. It takes marriage off the shelf of emotional fantasy and places it firmly where it belongs: as a laboratory for spiritual growth, ego-incineration, and conscious partnership. To begin with our first IN-NINGS, the marriage box that we IN-HERIT from HIM, is empty, contrary to our IN-QUIRY & belief that we will find all the things we have longed for in marriage:

Intimacy, Friendship, Companionship, Love, Peace

IN-SERT FIRST BEFORE TAKING OUT

One must put in something before one can take out anything from the box. Love, Peace, and Bliss are in the people/partners, not in the marriage or the box itself. There is no romance in the marriage box yet. As an IN-FATUATED couple, we must learn the art & form the habit of IN-COME first:

Giving, Loving, Looking at specialties, Praising, Serving

We must keep the IN-FLOW into the box full before any partner can take out anything. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty soon or will remain empty.

BENEVOLENT CREATOR

The Creator is always first in doing His part of the equation, keeping the marriage box overflowing with all the goodies. Now it is our turn to add into the box all that we have. But what do we have? That is the big question to ask ourselves.

JUNK IS ALL WE HAVE

On the long journey of 84 births spanning over an elapsed time of 5,000 years, we have amassed a lot of junk and piled it up over the valuable stuff we had at the start of this beautiful journey. To dig out the valuable jewels, we must throw out the piled-up junk first into the IN-CINERATOR that has been positioned adjacent to the marriage box. Once the junk is IN-TOMB inside the incinerator, you cannot retrieve it ever again. This was the hard part of the IN-BUILT bargain.

DIG THE JEWELS OUT

Now that the jewels are accessible, we must IN-DULGE & grab them, dust them off, and quickly put them into the marriage box to complete our part of the equation. The Creator becomes very pleased at this herculean gesture of ours—and so do we.

RIGHT TO FREEDOM

This is a very basic need for all human beings. We have our BROUGHT FORWARD seeds/Sanskar’s through which we are acting all the time. Change is tough & time-consuming; it requires a very SHARP IN-TELLECT to realize this aspect of acting. Our actions will continue to manifest impulsively, mostly out of unawareness, which will rarely be palatable to the other partner. The reason? We are all different, harboring almost opposite classes of seeds/Sanskar’s. Do not expect similar classes of actions from your partner ever. Expectations are an excellent source of IRRITATION, and irritations cause IN-FLAMMATION inside. Now you know.

REFLEX ACTION — CONTROLLING

The most obvious reaction to the repulsive behavior of a partner is to cut them off, negate them, disagree totally, and get into the impossible task of changing them, which adds up to CONTROLLING THEM 24/7. There you go: now you have a full-time job, unpaid, of course, and frustrating because the results of constant bullying never appear on the horizon.

CAN ONE EVER CONTROL THE WORLD?

The answer is NO, whether you like it or not. The Toddler: Can you control a three-year-old toddler? You must keep a tab 24/7, running around the house just in case they run into dangerous situations. The Teenager: Can you control your teenage children? Again, a big NO. They rebel, defy, and leave home to live separately on their own terms. Your ideas are outdated to them. The Spouse: Now we come to the main hero of the Drama of Life, your spouse. Please remember that Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus. You both are DIFFERENT, get this in your head. Each of us behaves differently, and no one is wrong or right, good or bad... just different.

EASY WAY OUT — TOLERATE

Yes, you got it. We all must learn to tolerate the other person's actions, behavior, mannerisms, and intentions. Have mercy for the poor soul & tolerate with a heavy heart.

FORGIVE YOUR OWN SAKE.

When you forgive the other person for offending you are benefiting yourself. If you continue to remain in HATE, you are poisoning yourself and no one else. Besides tolerating, you have no other choice, so understand this well and come to terms with internally, sooner the better for your own mental & physical health.

COOPERATE WITH A SMILE

Life must go on, and smoothly at that. Therefore, get into cooperation mode. Having taken mercy on the poor soul and forgiven them genuinely from inside, now is the time to SMILE IN-TERNALLY again for your own sake, cooperating whole-heartedly for the common cause of the family, children, and relatives around.

KARMA IS THE REASON TO COOPERATE

In a past life, the male was a female, and the female was a male. In that past life, you screwed each other. Now, both of you have IN-CARNATED as a couple by DIVINE intervention, not your own choosing to settle the BROUGHT FORWARD karmic account. Since it is your own doing, you better understand the COSMIC DRAMA in the right perspective & COOPERATE WILLINGLY in the part of reverse screwing, with a smile. Just take it lying down happily & enjoy the ride.

THE PAINFUL PARTING WAY

Finally, it all boils down to simple math. We want to have our say and do our thing. We lack the will to change ourselves for the better. Controlling others’ backfires by antagonizing them. So, the only choice left is TOLERATE & COOPERATE with a smile. When we fail to do even this much, the limits of PATIENCE are crossed, and it makes sense to go our SEPARATE WAYS without any ill feelings, hate-filled intentions, or emotions of revenge. Just part ways and live on your own terms. Eventually, both partners suffer a great deal on account of holding up their EGOS, refusing to bend, let go, & ACCOMMODATE the other. It is truly a sad outcome.

NETT OUTCOME: SORROW & MISERY

Going separate ways brings severe consequences:

Social	Alienation from a cohesive group of friends & family.
Emotional	Persistent sense of longing; an invisible yet massive emotional drain.
Financial	Downgraded lifestyle due to financial crunch and a single income.
Physical	Managing all domestic chores single-handed, destroying leisure time.

Eventually, the path is laid out for.

 

 

This destructive "what is the use" attitude can lead to suicidal tendencies and attempts, go figure it for yourself.

IN-TRANSIT - GIFT OF SPACE, NON-INTERFERENCE

Mirroring creates harmony, but IN-TERFERENCE creates friction. Just as two planetary orbits do not collide because they maintain their respective distances, two partners must honor each other's individual journey. Do not attempt to overlap your spouse’s personality with your own. Allow them to have their private garden of thought, silence, and individual pace. IN-DEPENDENCE within togetherness is the secret to longevity.

IN-INVESTMENT - CELEBRATE SPECIALTIES

The ego naturally searches for defects; the soul searches for virtue. Instead of counting what your partner lacks, start IN-VENTORIZING what they excel at. If one partner brings emotional warmth and the other brings logical clarity, do not fight over the difference—IN-TEGRATE them. A balanced household needs both head and heart.

IN-TENTION: DISSOLVE THE INNER COUNTER

The fastest way to drain the marriage box is keeping an internal ledger of favors: "I did this for you, now what will you do for me?" True giving is UN-CONDITIONAL. The moment you calculate, it ceases to be love and becomes a commercial transaction. Deposit into the box without keeping score. When both partners operate with an IN-FINITE mindset, the box never runs dry.

A TWISTED VIEW OF MARRIAGE

People will see a man washing his clothes and, instead of minding their business, say: "Ahh Oga Victor, go and marry so you'll stop washing!" They'll see a man cooking and say: "Bro John, you need to get married so you can stop cooking!" A mother will assist her 35-year-old son—who cannot wash his own boxers, boil water for tea, or take his plates to the kitchen after eating, and tell him: "James, you need to settle down and get a woman to take care of you." SERIOUSLY?? Just because she knows she will not be there for him much longer?

THE SUBCONSCIOUS LIE

In subtle ways, society tells men that they don't marry women for partnership, but solely for cleaning, cooking, and childbearing. It makes one wonder: Does the average man need a wife, or a glorified maid? Many women look three times their age simply because of stress and exhaustion. You sit in front of the TV with your phone while your wife works until she is about to pass out. REALLY?? Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash your own plates? Who told you that it is wrong to wash your own clothes? Who told you that it is wrong to make your bed when you wake up? What will it take to help your partner with chores around the house?

THE REALITY CHECK

If a man wants to be adopted as a child, to be petted, pampered, fed, and nursed, he should not seek marriage. He should offer himself up for adoption at a motherless home to be picked up. BUT if you want a wife to love, to cherish, to do different things with, to assist in chores, and to love for the rest of your life, then get married. AND if you are getting married just because you feel you are becoming too old to do your own chores—get a maid. Women are to be cherished, pampered, and loved... NOT USED.

CORE ELEMENTS THAT STAND OUT MOST POWERFULLY

The Math of the "Empty Box"

The concept of IN-SERT FIRST flips society’s usual entitlement on its head. Most people enter marriage expecting a fully stocked buffet of love, peace, and validation. When they find an empty box, they blame the institution or their partner. Your analogy clearly establishes that the box is inert, it holds zero romance until partners actively build the habit of depositing unconditional giving, respect, and service.

Mechanics of Karma & Samskaras

Framing interpersonal friction through Brought Forward Karmic Accounts takes the personal sting out of everyday conflicts. When you realize a partner’s behavior is driven by their own deep-seated sanskars (and vice versa), the impulse to control them vanishes. It shifts the dynamic from an exhausting 24/7 power struggle to an exercise in cosmic maturity: Tolerate, Forgive, and Cooperate with a Smile.

Cultural Angle

The closing section on society’s "twisted view" provides a necessary, sharp-edged reality check. Calling out the habit of viewing wives as glorified maids balances the lofty spiritual themes with grounded, domestic justice. Partnership requires shared labor, period.

 

ROHIT KHANNA      IN-COME

 

AUTHOR – MAGIC OF MIND & MIRACLE OF BODY

https://www.amazon.ca/MAGIC-MIND-MIRACLE-Rohit-Khanna-ebook/dp/B004RHX8JC

Autobiography of an Engineer from Tata Nagar 

By the Author - Click on the link below please.

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B0GX3B8YQD